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| My Grandpa told me, "Make sure Ya don't hafta lick Yer calf twice!" |
On this Heah page We
gots Hillbilly stories,
remembrances, Folk lore
an lotsa other thangs. Sit
a spell an enjoy yerself!
gots Hillbilly stories,
remembrances, Folk lore
an lotsa other thangs. Sit
a spell an enjoy yerself!
By Hillbilly Hank Hollar
My dear ole Grandpa taught me a lot uf thangs back when Ah's was growin up. Most uf tha
time, He used metafores or parebles. This heah was one uf em thet used farm life ta tell what
he wus uh talkin 'bout.
One summer mornin when Ah's wus uh lil shaver, we wus all out in tha garden uh hoein tha
corn. Now let me tell ya, Ah's wanted ta be any whars else than in thet thar garden uh hoein
corn. First, We's had 'bout uh acre an uh half uf corn ta hoe. Next, hoein wus hard borin work.
Them thar weeds grew fastern thet corn an would choke it out so, ya had ta chop up tha weed
roots with out uh hurtin tha corn. Also tha corn would put out deeper an longer roots in tha soft
loose soil an anythang thet touched thet dirt packed it down, even tha rain. On top uh thet,
we's had real rocky soil. Ah's tells folks all tha time, Ah grew up on uh 80 acre rock farm cause
our number one crop wus rocks. It wusn't intended ta be thet way but it wus. Also, ifin them
thar weeds gots ta be tall nuff Ya hada pull em up, putem in a warshtub an haul em down ta
tha pig pen fer tha pigs ta eat, an Ah hated thet wersten hoein thet thar hard rocky ground.
We's had two types uf hoes. One wus tha strawberry hoe. Thet was tha prefered hoe ta
use cause it had two sharp tines on one side an uh sharp blade on that other but. strawberry
hoes wus store bought so We‘s only had one. Then we's had tha blade hoes. Those thar hoes
jest had uh flat blade thet was sharpend. Tha blade hoes wus home made cause it wus
cheaper than uh buyin them. Thay wus great as long as thay stayed sharp but once thay's got
dull, it wus uh hard row ta hoe. Anyways, Ah wus uh hurrin down thet row jest uh chopin away
but Ah wus jest uh barley breakin the ground and cutin tha weeds off without uh chopin up tha
roots. Thet ment thet them thar weeds would be uh sproutin back up in jest a dayer so. We
wus uh suposed ta go uh huntin down on tha river when we's got thru an thet ment thet Ah
would get a chance ta go swimin. Ah had saved uh bit uf money from sellin uh couple uf coon
furs thet spring an bought uh fancy new snorkel, mask an swim fins. Ah wus uh diein ta take
my short gig (it was 'bout 10 foot long) an swim down in Blue Hole an see ifin Ah could gig a
big fish er two.
Anyways, Ah wus uh hurryin tha job. Ah's got down ta tha end uf my fist row an thar was
my Grandpa a waitin on me. He looks at me an says, “Boy, looks like thet thar hoe is uh bit
dull. Ya's jest a barely uh breakin tha ground. Lets go a sharpen it up real quick.” Ah's jest
said yes Sir cause Ah's knew Ah's got caught an Ah wus glad it wus Grandpa stead uf
Grandma. She'd uh give me some hicory tea ('bout five er six licks with uh hicory switch) an
told me get back out thar an do it rite. Anyways, it wus Grandpa so Ah's knew Ah wusn't gonna
get uh switchin but Ah didn't wanna push it.
On tha way up ta tha tool shed, Grandpa started talkin. He says, “Ya know boy, thet calf of
Agness's jest ain't uh doin as well as tha other calves, 'corse Agness always has ta lick her calf
twice.” Now Ah wus kinds perkin my ears up an 'about this time we wus at tha tool shed an
Grnadpa wus uh puttin my hoe in tha vise. Now thet thar hoe wus rite dull cause Ah had
choped lots uf hard rocky soil with it. Ah had planed ta jest take thet file my Grandpa wus uh
handin me an hit it jest a few good licks an run back ta tha garden, but now Ah was courious.
“How do ya know thet Grandpa?” Ah asks. He jest looks at me an says, “Get ta sharpenin thet
hoe an Ah'll tell Ya. Ya see when an ole cow has her calf, thar ain't no docter er nurse thar ta
help so when thet calf comes out tha ole cow has ta clean it herself. First she'll lick the face an
chest ta get tha calf ta breathin then she'll clean tha rest so as ta get tha calf dry an on it's feet
and get tha mussels uh workin. Then thars tha lazy cows like Agness. She cleans tha face an
chest jest fine cause the calf wouldn't live ifin she didn't but she jest kinda licks at cleanin the
rest of it. Some times tha calf get chilled or some times it's gots trouble gettin up ta nurse.
Eether way, She has ta lick em an clean em uh second time. Those thar calves never do quite
as well as tha others. Jest goes ta show ya, any job worth doin is worth doin rite tha first time.
Make sure Ya don't hafta lick Yer calf twice. Looks like it mite be uh good year fer corn this
year. Our corn has as all come up good an is uh growin well, ifin we's takes good care uf it
we'll get lotsa roastin ears. Ya like them thar roastin ears doncha boy?”
Ah saw them ears uh corn wraped in foil as we took em out of the roastin pit, pictured em
as Ah peeled back tha foil and husk an smelled tha bacon thet we'ad wraped em in jest afore
We's had putem in thet pit. Then Ah tasted thet sweet juicy corn in my mind. Them ears didn't
need no butter cause of tha flavor from tha bacon an Ah decide rite then an thar, Ah wusn't
uhgonna hafta lick my calf twice. Ah says “Yes Sir!” My Grandpa jest smiled, winked an patted
me on tha back an says, “Theta Boy! Ya gets thet hoe any sharper an Ah'll be a usin it fer a
razor!” It wus then thet Ah realized thet I had sharpend thet thar hoe real good. Ah grabed thet
hoe outa thet vise, ran back ta tha garden, and went back an started hoein my first row all
over agin. Afore Ah knew it Ah had done my rows an even helped my brother afinish his. Thet
year we had more corn then We's knew what ta do with an Ah was rite proud ta be uh eatin
home grown corn thet We’s had caned ourselvs in tha middle uf tha winter.
My dear ole Grandpa taught me a lot uf thangs back when Ah's was growin up. Most uf tha
time, He used metafores or parebles. This heah was one uf em thet used farm life ta tell what
he wus uh talkin 'bout.
One summer mornin when Ah's wus uh lil shaver, we wus all out in tha garden uh hoein tha
corn. Now let me tell ya, Ah's wanted ta be any whars else than in thet thar garden uh hoein
corn. First, We's had 'bout uh acre an uh half uf corn ta hoe. Next, hoein wus hard borin work.
Them thar weeds grew fastern thet corn an would choke it out so, ya had ta chop up tha weed
roots with out uh hurtin tha corn. Also tha corn would put out deeper an longer roots in tha soft
loose soil an anythang thet touched thet dirt packed it down, even tha rain. On top uh thet,
we's had real rocky soil. Ah's tells folks all tha time, Ah grew up on uh 80 acre rock farm cause
our number one crop wus rocks. It wusn't intended ta be thet way but it wus. Also, ifin them
thar weeds gots ta be tall nuff Ya hada pull em up, putem in a warshtub an haul em down ta
tha pig pen fer tha pigs ta eat, an Ah hated thet wersten hoein thet thar hard rocky ground.
We's had two types uf hoes. One wus tha strawberry hoe. Thet was tha prefered hoe ta
use cause it had two sharp tines on one side an uh sharp blade on that other but. strawberry
hoes wus store bought so We‘s only had one. Then we's had tha blade hoes. Those thar hoes
jest had uh flat blade thet was sharpend. Tha blade hoes wus home made cause it wus
cheaper than uh buyin them. Thay wus great as long as thay stayed sharp but once thay's got
dull, it wus uh hard row ta hoe. Anyways, Ah wus uh hurrin down thet row jest uh chopin away
but Ah wus jest uh barley breakin the ground and cutin tha weeds off without uh chopin up tha
roots. Thet ment thet them thar weeds would be uh sproutin back up in jest a dayer so. We
wus uh suposed ta go uh huntin down on tha river when we's got thru an thet ment thet Ah
would get a chance ta go swimin. Ah had saved uh bit uf money from sellin uh couple uf coon
furs thet spring an bought uh fancy new snorkel, mask an swim fins. Ah wus uh diein ta take
my short gig (it was 'bout 10 foot long) an swim down in Blue Hole an see ifin Ah could gig a
big fish er two.
Anyways, Ah wus uh hurryin tha job. Ah's got down ta tha end uf my fist row an thar was
my Grandpa a waitin on me. He looks at me an says, “Boy, looks like thet thar hoe is uh bit
dull. Ya's jest a barely uh breakin tha ground. Lets go a sharpen it up real quick.” Ah's jest
said yes Sir cause Ah's knew Ah's got caught an Ah wus glad it wus Grandpa stead uf
Grandma. She'd uh give me some hicory tea ('bout five er six licks with uh hicory switch) an
told me get back out thar an do it rite. Anyways, it wus Grandpa so Ah's knew Ah wusn't gonna
get uh switchin but Ah didn't wanna push it.
On tha way up ta tha tool shed, Grandpa started talkin. He says, “Ya know boy, thet calf of
Agness's jest ain't uh doin as well as tha other calves, 'corse Agness always has ta lick her calf
twice.” Now Ah wus kinds perkin my ears up an 'about this time we wus at tha tool shed an
Grnadpa wus uh puttin my hoe in tha vise. Now thet thar hoe wus rite dull cause Ah had
choped lots uf hard rocky soil with it. Ah had planed ta jest take thet file my Grandpa wus uh
handin me an hit it jest a few good licks an run back ta tha garden, but now Ah was courious.
“How do ya know thet Grandpa?” Ah asks. He jest looks at me an says, “Get ta sharpenin thet
hoe an Ah'll tell Ya. Ya see when an ole cow has her calf, thar ain't no docter er nurse thar ta
help so when thet calf comes out tha ole cow has ta clean it herself. First she'll lick the face an
chest ta get tha calf ta breathin then she'll clean tha rest so as ta get tha calf dry an on it's feet
and get tha mussels uh workin. Then thars tha lazy cows like Agness. She cleans tha face an
chest jest fine cause the calf wouldn't live ifin she didn't but she jest kinda licks at cleanin the
rest of it. Some times tha calf get chilled or some times it's gots trouble gettin up ta nurse.
Eether way, She has ta lick em an clean em uh second time. Those thar calves never do quite
as well as tha others. Jest goes ta show ya, any job worth doin is worth doin rite tha first time.
Make sure Ya don't hafta lick Yer calf twice. Looks like it mite be uh good year fer corn this
year. Our corn has as all come up good an is uh growin well, ifin we's takes good care uf it
we'll get lotsa roastin ears. Ya like them thar roastin ears doncha boy?”
Ah saw them ears uh corn wraped in foil as we took em out of the roastin pit, pictured em
as Ah peeled back tha foil and husk an smelled tha bacon thet we'ad wraped em in jest afore
We's had putem in thet pit. Then Ah tasted thet sweet juicy corn in my mind. Them ears didn't
need no butter cause of tha flavor from tha bacon an Ah decide rite then an thar, Ah wusn't
uhgonna hafta lick my calf twice. Ah says “Yes Sir!” My Grandpa jest smiled, winked an patted
me on tha back an says, “Theta Boy! Ya gets thet hoe any sharper an Ah'll be a usin it fer a
razor!” It wus then thet Ah realized thet I had sharpend thet thar hoe real good. Ah grabed thet
hoe outa thet vise, ran back ta tha garden, and went back an started hoein my first row all
over agin. Afore Ah knew it Ah had done my rows an even helped my brother afinish his. Thet
year we had more corn then We's knew what ta do with an Ah was rite proud ta be uh eatin
home grown corn thet We’s had caned ourselvs in tha middle uf tha winter.